water fight

brooklyn pride 5k 2009. i am late yet to another race as usual. two minutes after start, I start running past through the start line. I am parched, hungover saturday morning and it is hot and humid. Needless to say biking 8 miles to the start doesn't help.

Here arrive at the one and only water station. I grab a cup of water, it is almost empty. I ask for another one and extend my arm to reach out get the 2nd cup and I say "water please" and the girl throws the water at my chest!! I hear the other volunteer at the stop go: "Ashley?!" I stop immediately and I repeat: "Ashley!?!" I grab another cup of water from the other girl and throw it back to Ashley and I get a new one thrown at me by Ashley. 

Finally, I take a deep breathe and verbally convince Ashley that I sincerely need a cup of water to drink. She hesitantly gives me one - to drink!

the man or the cross

me: what's that at the end of your necklace - a cross or a man who opens up his arms to the side (asking about semi-visible necklace blocked by the t-shirt)?

him: uhmmm, that's a man on a cross

me (thinking): oh, jesus, crucified jesus!!!

New Jersey Marathon Storm

A bunch of Front Runners, unbeknownest to each other, planned to run the NJ Marathon at Long Branch New Jersey. Hence, together with me there was a great cheering team and a bunch of friends running full or half marathon in New Jersey last weekend under the spring rain. Fatai, Kieran, Dave Lin and I stay at Dave Lin's place and wish wish that I didn't rain, but it did rain all the way from mile 5-6 until the end.

I had taken 9 months off from running after the NYC Marathon in 2007 because of getting injured with never-healing stress fractures on my tibia. At NYC marathon, I had totally fallen trap to my uncontrolled running: running the first half totally out of pace only to hit the wall at around mile 13-15.

I had finally started run-walking september of last year and I could do regular 25 miles february of this year. I still wanted to do a full marathon before attempting nyc for a 2nd time, so that I can learn to pace better, stick to my game plan so that I can pull a successful marathon. Hence I went to Long Branch last weekend to try my legs and my mind on a 2nd marathon. I didn't have a specific goal, perhaps run under 4 hours, wishing secretly that I can beat my NYC PR, but really, I only wanted to run an even pace, so that I can say that I can stick to a pace for 26 miles.

The result is progress compared to NYC, because I ran a more even pace, but I still have room to learn more. I made again a similar mistake of running a bit out of pace in the first half. My 1st half was about 12 minutes faster my 2nd half, but that's an improvement over NYC where I had 26 minutes difference between the 1st and 2nd half of the marathon. Better yet, I enjoyed this marathon way more than NYC. I had much less pain and only walked within miles 21-24 vs. NYC where I walked consistently in the last 10 miles.

Now I think I know what I should do in NYC = Train better and run smarter.

Here is mile by mile, the race:
Delayed start by 30 mins. chit chating with Audra. I started the race with Audra, who pulled a kick-ass Boston Qualifier eventually. I was supposed to glue myself to her ass and I lost her at the start (well-done Cenk)
Mile 1: 8:26 (feeling good)
Mile 2: 8:10 (I repeat to myself: slow down after mile 4)
Mile 3: 8:07
Mile 4: 7:56 (not good, slow down boy - hey Sandi Rowe)
Mile 5: 8:17 (there you go - well done )
Mile 6: 8:00 (what's wrong with me - I got my personal "slow down boy" warning from Loren Mooney and gave a hug to Kelsey)
Mile 7: 8:20 (John Soto is right in front of me and I am trying to pace with him)
Mile 8: 8:11 (ran with John Soto who told me that we were running at 8:15 min/mile and I should show some control o/w I would crash)
Mile 9: 8:32 (I am glad that finally I am running on pace - I see Dave Lin at around here)
Mile 10: 8:00 (again started to speed up, I feel this super energy boost, and I know it is because of the half-marathoners who are finishing their race and I am going with them, a mistake that I will soon realize)
Mile 11, 12, 13, 14: ~8 min each (so many Front runners cheering me on as I pass my the half line: Hilary, Les, Rosario, Timmy, Dave Lin, thanks to all, it is such a great feeling)
Mile 15: 8:17 (back to close to pace)
Mile 16: 8:22
Mile 17: 8:36 (this was supposed to be my pcae, but weirdly I am still feeling strong)
Mile 18: 9:10 (this is first sign of loss of strength, John Soto and 3:40 pace group passes me)
Mile 19: 8:36 (I see Kieran on the other side of the course right about here, he looks strong. I look at my watch 2:46 and he has 2 miles to go, he may be able to pull a sub 3)
Mile 20:8:46
Mile 21: 9:01 (first signs of cramps at right quads)
Mile 22: 9:56 (a minute or two of walking, right quad really tightening up)
Mile 23: 10:51 (walk/run, ready to give up - I see sweet rachel kliegman on the other side of the course at mile 22 - she cheers me on, how nice of her, that gives me a tid bit of renewed energy)
Mile 24: 10:55 (more walking and ready to throw in the towel, but guess what, I have a savor: Audra, who comes from behind and she is literally bouncing, she is so full of energy, I try to tag along but I can't and I let her go, but that presence, gives me the boost...although I can't keep up with Audra, I pick up my pace and here I go, I run and repeat to myself, all the way to the finish, all the way to the finish, no walking, no walking....
Mile 25: 9:31 (I look at my watch and realize/think I may PR, looks like a 3:48 is coming, my NYC time was 3:49)
Mile 26: 9:05 (no walk and finally threw away those fake arm warmer fatai and I made off white tube socks) - all the front runners line up with cheers and really heart-felt ones, I guess the girls group got bigger (those finishing the half join the cheering team of FRNY-ers) but I can't tell exactly who is there - pain and excitement of closing to the finish...
last .2: 1:44 (I see Fatai, good, he must have pulled a Fatai. I am in pain but running as fast as I can to that finish. I see and hear so many FRNY-ers. Thanks to all that energy....I did I PR: 3:47.16. So happy, so so happy...saw Audra right after finish, gave her a big hug, but I was totally a wreck, can't move, cramping legs and shiver, shiver, shivers)

Listening to Loren's advice I go into the medical tent shortly after finish, got treated for hypothermia-like shivering and cramps (by two unnecessarily gorgeous marine nurses both of whom held my arms as I lied down under 5 blankets)

The next morning I took a flight to LA with Hiro. I will be here for 2 weeks for work. Hiro sleeps right by me as I type these lines. I guess time to rest for me too.

marketing marketing

I watch many of my facebook friends write 25 things about themselves on facebook these days. I will never follow pursuit. If someone wants to learn 25 things about me they can hang out with me. If that's too much pain then read my blog as you are doing now. I am amazed how many folks - even those who say they resist marketers and dislike their manipulations - are herded by the social media and networking craze and get silently drawn into doing things they wouldn't otherwise do or would claim that they would never do...

So the secret of 25 things about yourself on facebook: some product manager on facebook decides that still many people aren't using the blogging like features of facebook. To claim monopoly like consolidator role, facebook needs to drive the mass social networkers into the idea of blogging softly by having them write 25 things about themselves. and wallah...there goes my resistor facebook friends - all declaring their 25 manifesto one after another. The only handful few that I know who won't feel the need or urge to do so are the already hardcore bloggers and twitters. Exceptions always apply but don't change the generalization.

is recession over

obama got sworn into the office. I broke my swear and made two expensive purchases in 09 already. clients started to commit to projects again and i found myself again in the midst of projects flying in the air. as life started to move again after a deadly slow december, cold hit peak. and as it's been happening to me every winter with the teens freezing my soul my face reached to full moon size with alarm bells going off for an immediate spring detox diet.

life is flowing again. fast...and i have little or so no control over it. that is good. i have new excitements in my life again. some in the shape of hopeless infatuations, but that means all the negativity i have gone through just about this time last year is over and this year i am waiting for the spring with excitement.

i had argued long before the recession hit peak that we were in a recession. later on, the government agencies confirmed that persistent argument of mine that the recession had actually started in december 07. i know claim that the recession will be over before this year ends. i trust my intuition. i feel it. like i felt it before.

a companion for the next dozen years and more

Years of deliberation, fine calculations, considerations...I finally gave in. I am the 2nd in the line to choose from the 3 male pups of the winter 2008/09 litter of Eddie and Penny. Here is the three brothers who were born on 12/29/08, 4 1/2 weeks old now and waiting to grow to become 8 weeks of age in Rochester, NY until they can be taken to their new home.

I am so excited and so happy with my decision. A puppy can never fill a void in someone's life - at least that's what I always believed in my ever-busy NY life that has no room for any voids...However that's exactly one of the main concerns that held me back from getting a puppy all these years. I have no one void in my life! How am I going to find one to fit the puppy in? My puppy will sure not fill a void, but hopefully will add more fun, companionship to my too-much-set-in-its-order and routine life.

It looks like it will be difficult in the beginning, because I hell know nothing about miniature schnauzers or even dogs as a matter of fact. Weirdly, it feels like it would be easier to raise a child - isn't it easier to rear your own kind? In the end, I would know the basic feeding, holding, nurturing, cleaning and showing affection, etc. routines of a baby. How will I learn about de-worming or building alpha character/dominance, etc routines of a dog? Those are foreign concepts to me. 

I am a fast learner though. Also, I am very eager about all this. In a month of super anticipation, I will read much to become book-ready for my new friend and do hell lots of new unnecessary shopping for sure. Then the real life with the pup will begin March 09.

Cenk: This is not a love song!

My name means war, or something along those lines. I kind of like my name, how it sounds. I am hoping and have believed so all these years that's why my father named me Cenk. Because I hate wars. Every time I read about wars in the newspaper I get scared. I am so scared now. Although I have never lived in a place where an active war was taking place, I just can't understand how greedy, irrational, f*cked up people can get to go kill other people.

How many generations of hatred needs to be planted for people to get convinced to go kill others. It all boils down to the question of who started the killing and then the side that gets attacked first responds in killing the other side. I wish to believe that there could be a world without wars. While all the contestants in beauty pageants wish for "world peace" why can it never be attained?

When we can share a bench in park on a personal level, why can't we share resources, land, histories on national level? Only crazy people go about killing others when they can't make their requests come through in a peaceful way. So those nations (including mine) who get into wars must be crazy. I naively wish to believe that we can live in a warless world. That's what we need to teach our kids before anything else...That is how to live in peace - literally. That's my new years wish for all the next years to come: "World Peace!"

If you need some reminding about how bad wars are, you can go see the movie "Waltz with Bashir."

New Year, Old Year

This morning Vicky was asking me whether I wrote my New Year's resolutions. I never do such a thing. so I haven't done that. 

Most of the folks, including me, entertain the folksy thought that however you enter the new year is going to be the reflection of how your new year will be.

Both of these arguments - resolutions and what you do on NYE is what you get in the new year - are very folksy, and products of social therapy for us to have a positive outlook in life, etc etc.

The fact that I woke up at 4pm on Jan 1 and stayed in bed for the rest of the day instead of going for a run doesn't say anything about my new year other than (1) I had a fabulous NYE celebration to the point of coming home totally boozed at 5am (2) The weather gods should rethink about how they will play the Jan 1 temperature, teens is way no cool!

Furthermore, I think the NYE celebration is not a reflection of what's going to happen to us next year, but more so what's happening to us now. We are in a recession and it's winter. I called this past two weeks as "winter recess" because not only we have a recession and it's winter, but also I had the last two weeks off from work.

However active I tried to be, in the cold weather when I am trying to spend as minimal money as possible, winter recess made a lazy ass out of me. Hence the celebration of NYE and how I wake up on Jan 1 was a pure reflection of my two weeks of winter recess: lazy, domestic, happy, lazy....

Now! No big resolutions for 2009. I intend to live 2009 one day at a time and just try to expect less from the entire year when I will try to be happy with each and every single day. That's my big resolution for 2009. If I manage to slide the scale to the light-hearted, happy-go-lucky end just a bit - even be it at the surface - that would be a big win.

It is Jan 2nd now and I am living today as a happy, lazy man.

Black Ice

Be careful of black ice if you are running in the winter like I do. This evening's run was part ice skating part running for me. I got back without a fall, so I should get full technical points.

The concept of winter running was incomprehensible to me until 3 years ago, but I am finally getting better at it. So far, I had two torrential rain runs and tonight's ice skating and a few 15mph head and then tail winds. Still the most horrible running experience of the season is still none of these but another one when I stepped onto newly-laid asphalt and not knowingly walked in my house with those sneakers.

Do you ever fall in doubt?

I saw the movie Doubt tonight. There were two personal moments of significance:

1- This was the first PSH movie after which I didn't feel disturbed by him. I even thought he did a great job in his role.

2- I connected some dots for myself. Only last week I was watching the video of senor Warren who was setting homesexuality equal to pedopholia. I just realized that the only case the two can be compared is when a gay person is also a pedophile.

I had an interesting conversation with Matt and Omur after the movie: When I shared my #2 observation above to Matt and Omur, Matt mentioned that it was the catholic church at the first place who sent the gays and lesbians to monasteries to become priests and nuns so that they are out of the sight of the society. Omur asked so why didn't they (priests) hook up among each other rather than with the kids? Matt calmly answered: "They did hook up among each other, not with the kids!"

A few isolated pedophile gays not necessarily make the rest of gays (or gay priests) pedophiles or doesn't make the entire gay and lesbian society pedophiles at all. As a matter of fact, senor Warren wasn't even suggesting that us-all were pedophiles. He was suggesting that just like pedophiles shouldn't get married with the subject of their love, neither should gays and lesbians. Anywho, the movie....

Doubt just induced so much thought without being over-bearing, overly dramatic, or disturbing...It was human and that was what it made it great. Meryl was superb, she was better than herself. She should be rewarded for this performance. I can't believe that I am gonna say this for PSH: He should be rewarded as well...